2021: Looking Back

2021 was another year filled with unexpected challenges.  I didn't really stick to my resolutions, but I still accomplished a lot.  My word of the year was "build" for 2021.  I meant for the word to inspire me to continue the work that I had began in 2020.   I wanted to build on the things that were helpful to me in 2020.  While some of my coping mechanisms from 2020 fell by the wayside, I found myself building in other ways.  I completed my courses for my new career path and I quite literally built a human being.  We welcomed a baby boy to our family in October.  He is doing well and we are so enjoying him.

I prioritized my mental health by clearly communicating with those around me.  My husband and I had many discussions about how we wanted to proceed with life.  We had to discuss our goals and the fact that the pandemic had really altered how I felt about certain things.  I had less capacity for big changes in our life than I had in the past.  I also recognized that my anxiety had started to interrupt parts of my life in a really detrimental way.  My daughter experienced a medical emergency when she was three and I ended up with trauma-induced anxiety.  My anxiety is specifically tied to my daughter's health and well-being.  I started therapy and I was able to find out how to cope with my anxiety.  I also learned to recognize which of my boundaries and reactions were rational and which ones weren't.  I am definitely still cautious, especially during this pandemic, but I don't have panic attacks when I send my daughter to school.  It was a lot of hard work, but I am so glad I did it.

2021 did not look at all how I thought it would.  I really thought that the pandemic would be over or close to over by now.  I was hopeful that I wouldn't have to still be wrestling with my decisions and boundaries regarding this pandemic.  If anything, this pandemic has taught me to be flexible and to not hold onto any plans too tightly.