Sunday 5 March 2023

Sharing the Mental Load

I have always carried the mental load of caring for my children.  My husband is a great Dad and is willing to complete any task given to him, but he has never had to carry any of the mental load of raising our children. I have been feeling burnt out consistently over the past year so my husband and I discussed how I needed to move certain aspects of the mental load to his plate. 


One thing that we have been successful in moving to my husband's plate is my daughter's homework.  My oldest daughter and I had become trapped in a never-ending homework battle and it was proving to be detrimental to our relationship.  My husband took over the responsibility of helping her complete her homework and my relationship with my daughter improved dramatically.  She gives my husband a hard time, but she isn't as resistant to his direction.

Transitioning the mental load of my daughter's schoolwork to my husband has not been seamless.  We had to clearly communicate expectations and I had to resist jumping in when he and my daughter forgot something.  It is really difficult for me to not step in and just 'handle it', but if I keep doing that the mental load isn't truly leaving my plate.  

Removing the mental load of my daughter's homework from my plate has been so beneficial for me.  I feel less overwhelmed and I feel like my husband is doing his part to alleviate the stress that comes with managing our children's lives. I am excited to add a couple more aspects of our kids' lives to his his mental load and I look forward to the relief that it will bring to my own life.

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